What Kind of Parent Will You Be?

Ummmm -- a good one, duh! This was the question posed to us tonight at our Adoption Meeting. How do you answer a question like that? Our obvious look of concern, confusion and general lack of knowledge of all that goes into parenting a child was a flashing light to the social workers -- a light that they assured us that they see every time they ask this question. So, what did they do? Continued to ask us more questions -- more things to ponder...at what age will your child be allowed to have their first sleepover? When will they know their full story, even if it involves some less than ideal details about their birth family? How will you react when people ask ignorant questions about 'how you got them?' or make snide remarks like 'well, that's their birthparent coming out in them'. Who will stay home when they are sick? HOLY SHIT -- THIS IS REAL! We have talked about some of these things, but we obviously have a lot to discuss before we bring this baby home!

Up until now, we've been so excited to move through the process, because our ultimate goal has been to bring home a child and start our family. We haven't thought much about what is going to happen the day after we come home with said child. PS: there is no book for that, I checked on Amazon already.

This week has been trying on us to say the least. Monday, the world was blessed with a little angel =) and both sides of our family suffered a loss. The day was compounded by an attack at The Navy Yard in Washington DC and while it did not touch our family and friends first hand, it did make me sit back and wonder what it was that we were doing?! In a world filled with so much hatred and violence, why on earth did we want to bring a child into that? I don't know if I can really answer that question -- what I do know, is that we have been called to adopt, something deep down inside told us that the right move for us was not to continue to pour our heart and soul (and life savings) into IVF treatments to create our own biological offspring. Somewhere along the line, it became apparent that God had another plan for us, that His plan involved the life of another family, and another child whose DNA did not match ours -- that we are being blessed with the opportunity to parent a child who is doubly loved and who may not have had the opportunity to attend schools in one of the areas best districts, or may have never had the opportunity to have a backyard with a dog, or be signed up for soccer or dance classes.

The Cat's Out of the Bag

Meetings have been held, we are elbow deep in paperwork, checks are clearing and we've officially notified all of the key players that we are moving forward with our plans for adoption. Tears were shared all around, some of excitement, some of apprehension and some of downright fear. We are excited to move forward and can't wait to see what the future holds.

A few weeks ago, we had some Pre-Adoption photos done by the wonderful Courtney Anton Photography so that we could begin to enhance our Dear Birthmother profile. She's given us one sneak peak so far:

Once the rest are edited and sent over to us, we will send out official announcements, make the blog public and get our Adoption Bug fundraiser going to help us raise funds for our travel costs and the Birthmother Fund. 

And So The Journey Begins

Today was the big day ONE of our adoption journey. Yes, we've already filled out the application and met with the social worker once, we attended the information session; but it wasn't until today that I felt like we've jumped feet or head first into this...more like a tumble, end over end. But an amazing feeling to know that walking out of that agency today, that we had landed our first tumble, conquered it even. We spent an amazing 6 hours surrounded by other families in all walks of life and two amazing social workers that eat, sleep and breathe adoption every single day of their lives.

We met a birthmother today -- the first we've met thus far and I don't think the agency could have chosen a better person to come and speak to us. She did more than allay all of our fears that our future child would be coming from a 15 year old "crack-whore" who could name 1/2 a dozen people as possible birth fathers and planned to be giving birth in a prison. Dramatic? YES -- but maybe not. The Lifetime movies I grew up secretly watching, depicted every birth mother in this light, and made them all seem like they were either too lazy to parent, not smart enough to make another plan or just didn't care. Today's birthmother was an amazing woman in her early twenties with more insight on her own life and the world around her than many adults that I know. She told us of a journey, not only that led her to creating an adoption plan for her child, but the wonderful bond that she has with the adoptive family. She's a strong, independent woman who, even years after making her plan, still gets choked up when talking about it. She's a real birthmother.

I'm left with a lingering thought from both the social workers and the birthmother, "go forward with eyes wide open". No matter where this process takes us, we must continue with eyes, hearts and mind wide open.

History Has Brought Us Here

Where to begin?! A chronicle of one of the hardest decisions my husband and I will ever make. The beginning to the miracle of family creation for our family. An insight for our families, friends, nosy facebook stalkers and anyone else interested in the five Ws.

Who: Pete & Nicole -- two people incredibly in love who want nothing more than to add a two-legged child(ren) to our family...yes, we already play Mom & Dad to two amazing canines.

What: Paper Pregnancy -- that's what they call it these days? We are adopting

Where: In PA -- surrounded by our glitter and glue!

When: We are (im)patiently waiting!

Why: Why Not? There is a child(ren) out there with a loving birth family, who will hopefully entrust us with the ultimate gift of raising their child. Through Open Adoption, we hope to grow our family, not only with a child(ren), but also with the birth family.